The stupid things people say about Arsenal

I was thinking of running a regular feature which featured people who said things like, "Arsenal are more likely to end up mid-table than challenge for the title this year", and who then say, "Some have written Wenger's team off, but their opening performances suggest..."

Trouble is, there are so many such articles that it would fill up these pages for months, and get rather tedious. So I'll put in a selection of just a few such pieces, including a few classic oldies, and then leave it at that, unless anyone spots a real classic double-standard load of gibberish. Here's just one from today:

"They may have been written off as serious title contenders this summer but Arsenal have started the season in superb form."
Alan Hansen

Note the total lack of definition of "they". Who are "they"? Aliens from the skies? The fairies that jump from Mr Hansen's pillow and whisper in his ear? Probably, because just before the season started, Hansen told the Telegraph: "Fourth place is a genuine target for City, though, because of the situation at Arsenal, they are the club most at risk of dropping out of the top four.

"They have lost Touré and Adebayor to City, but Wenger is saying that they might not need to strengthen. I disagree because Arsenal can improve every department of their team, but maybe they don't have the funds to do so. If you are a top team, you can never stand still, but Arsenal have lost important players and they might not replace them. They really are under threat from City this season."

I don't mind people getting stuff wrong – I get it wrong about 140% of the time – but it is the absolute lack of apology which makes me feel like I am being treated like a total idiot. I want the journalist I read to be treating me with respect – and that it seems is too much to ask.

There's so many of these examples, I'll leave it, but just for a laugh here's a few from my scrap book:

Boris Johnson, classics scholar, unbelievably intelligent man and Mayor of London, says London's bigger football teams (I guess by that he means Arsenal, QPR, Barnet etc) should take a moral lead and pay backroom staff a London living wage, above the minimum wage: "The values these clubs stand for have a huge influence on the social fabric of the city. It would set a superb example."

And this compares with Boris Johnson, in the Daily Telegraph: "The ruinous minimum wage would palpably destroy jobs ... It's inimical to productivity ... a damaging socialist delusion ..." (you see you can tell he's bright, because he says, 'inimical').

And the all time classic of backbiting managers / chairmen:

"Real Madrid's record on tapping-up players is 'obscene'. Their end game was always Ronaldo. What makes it obscene is that Madrid, General Franco's club, had a history of being able to get whoever and whatever they wanted before democracy came to Spain."
Sir Alex F Word

"Ferguson's action over Berbatov is one of the worst offences by any manager in the Premier League ever. It's disgraceful: a blatant example of sheer arrogance...'"
Daniel Levy, Tiniest of all the Tiny Totts, 2008

As for loyalty - well there is always Harry...

"Portsmouth is my club – it's where I belong. I feel an immense sense of loyalty and unfulfilled ambition here. I could have left, but it would have felt like a betrayal. So they're stuck with me now. This will be my last job in football."
Harry Redknapp, 11 May 2008

Anyway, just as a reminder of what is to come – our second league match last season was... you remember... away to Fulham. Boat ride down the Thames, lots of drinking, and then the sky fell in, the world ended, the Gooner went into its Meltdown mode, people wrote blogs saying, "This is exactly what I predicted..."

Our team that day was:

Almunia
Sagna, Touré, Gallas, Clichy
Walcott, Eboue, Denilson, Nasri
van Persie, Abebayor

Four of those are out, and one (Eboue) is unlikely to play from the start. More on this along with an utterly accurate prediction of the score soon (and you know how good my predictions are).

Reproduced with permission from Untold Arsenal.

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