Jack and the beanstalk

The main focus of attention this afternoon is Andrei Arshavin's siren call to Barcelona. Describing the reigning European Champions (although possibly not for much longer) as "so much better than anybody else", he says just one season with the Catalan club would be the "pinnacle" of his career. Not entirely surprisingly, this story has not gone down too well with the Gooner nation. There seems to be a belief amongst the support that Arshavin has not played to the best of his capablities this season, has performed lazily and that if Barcelona were interested in him, they would be welcome to the man who defines the word mercurial.

I kind of have a different angle on it. Much as it would be great to hear Thierry Henry like protestations of undying love for the football club, and where is he right now?- I think that what you see with Andrei is what you get. As we've seen on his website, ask him a question, any question, and he will answer it honestly. If he's upset anyone within the football club, then it's a matter for the manager. I also think that perhaps a season playing with the likes of Denilson, Diaby and, yes, Bendtner would drive a man like Andrei- and to be fair to him, he's been pretty open about what he thinks we need- to seek the company of the likes of Xavi, Iniesta and Messi. I don't think there's anything unnatural in that, or that supporters of our great football club should be surprised by Arshavin's expressed desire. However, we might legitimately question what has happened to the man who lit up our run in last season, perhaps that's another one for the manager, I don't know. We might also question how close Andrei would get to that supreme Barcelona team, one thing's for sure; across the two legs we shared a football pitch the Barca players put in a physical effort that seems beyond our little Russian. If he wants Barca, fine. But he's going to have to work his socks off to get there and that can only be good news for us- unless a deal has already been done for this summer.

That should be my last word on the subject really, but I'd just like to add that I think it's good that Arshavin has the desire to perform on, let's face it, one of the world's grandest football stages. It's better than having the ambition to... write a children's book! Words fail me on this one. Well, no, they don't actually because here I am talking about it, but I remember talk about Theo writing a book or two for children (oh, won't somebody think of the children) a few months back, years back, whatever it was and the general consensus was that Master Walcott's time would be better spent working on things like his first touch, his close control, looking up and being able to hit a teammate with a cross. You know, rudimentary things like that, but here we are however many months down the line and instead of a winger who has visibly and consistently improved those, key, skills we've got TJ and the Penalty. Brilliant Theo, at least we know what you'll be doing when your Arsenal career collapses around your ears. I guess I might have been a bit calmer about this were Arse.com not helping to promote this folly and it hadn't come off the back of a really bad month for the club. It just seems ridiculous to me.

The following is an email I got from someone at Arse.com about this:

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"Dear supporter,

We'd like to apologise for our abject performances this April that have seen us exit the Champions League, fall out of the race for the Premier League in a run of 1 win in 7 matches and the upcoming goal of the month award all but guaranteed for Nicklas Bendtner. This is because nobody else has scored in open play this month.

Nobody that is, except for Theo Walcott. Oh and whilst we're on the subject, Theo will be signing copies of his new book at WH Smiths, Brent Cross on May 5th. We look forward to seeing you there. Don't forget your wallet!

Regards,

Arsenal Football Club"
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I might have made some (all) of that up, I hope you don't think I've gone too far, or that I'm just jealous he's got a book deal (I am, obviously). I hope that you can see where I'm coming from in all of this. Craig Eastmond is on the website today talking about the likes of Frimpong, Wilshere and all the young punks looking for the big breakthrough in the first team squad next season and I doubt whether any of those lads are looking at anything other than improving their game and becoming first team stars. I certainly think it's difficult to imagine that Jack Wilshere will one day pen a modern update of the classic kids tale, Jack and the Beanstalk, though perhaps paradoxically, it might be something I'd enjoy reading one day:

"The giant (whose name was Gunnar Nielsen) found me, I called him a name and he chinned me. His wife produced a red card and sent him to bed before he could eat me, I got up, skipped out of his house, down the beanstalk with the beans, humming "Crying Lightning" to myself and took the beans back to my mum. The end."

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