Draft CL Draft - Last 12 - Farzad Wanderers vs Sapient Hawk FC

[Rex Stone]

Yeah congrats to both @Sapient Hawk and @farzad4daarse for a top knockout tie

 

[Sapient Hawk]

Onto the second half and there's legitimate concerns amongst the referees that their safety may be in jeopardy with the tempers reaching boiling point in the sell out Camp Farz crowd. Somehow an angry fan in the crowd has been able to get hold of a very lifelike referee effigy and noose which they pass around the entire lower tier.

Meanwhile on the pitch the game descends into chaos as a riled up Hawks team rack up double digit fouls by the 50th minute and keep on going. Despite being on a yellow card and clearly having lost his head, Walter Samuel makes foul after foul on Neymar with the referee seemingly afraid to send him off and cause another melee.

There's non stop pushing and arguing, which breaks up any rhythm in the game at all. With the Colombian assistant manager panicking he throws Koke to try and get the one goal they need to salvage the tie.

And it starts to work...

Neymar works a one - two with Koke and fizzes a shot to the bottom corner which....

ALMUNIA SOMEHOW PUSHES ONTO THE POST

Lewandwoski follows in and...

hits it right at Almunia AGAIN!

The ball is scrambled away by Boli to maybe the only pacy player in the Hawks side Angulo, who dodges a flying tackle from the substitute Kolo Toure and has now got a three on one in his favour... he sends a great ball across the box right into the path of...

SHERINGHAM!!!

The Camp Farz explodes into boos as the Hawk players sh*thouse a celebration in front of the Wanderers bench. This again causes a melee and 10 minute delay. Once again no card for Walter Samuel after he gets a trilogy fight with John Terry.

After this the life is sucked from the team and it instead becomes a dirty, nasty mess of a game. When the referee blows the final whistle the stadium is half empty. The camera pans to the stand but @farzad4daarse is nowhere to be seen.

As Lewandowski, Walker and Alisson begin their long walk home after being denied access to their own team coach a TV camera crew after the game later happens to capture Farzad waiting for Walter Samuel in the stadium car park. It's never confirmed if he's successful.

Final Score: Farzad Wanderers 0 - 2 Sapient Hawks

Sapient Hawks go through 4-2 on aggregate to face @bingobob and Hunskelpers FC in the next round.

View attachment 14127

I'm just happy that our 17 away fans watched us sh*thouse our way to a stage where we have no business being!!

Also, my version of Samuel is Fernandinho, Skrtel & Rodri combined. He could assault the ref with a vacuum cleaner & it'll only end in a stern talking-to. It's a real pity I never got Paulo Montero as this would've been a special kind of hell for opposition teams

 

[Farzad]

Onto the second half and there's legitimate concerns amongst the referees that their safety may be in jeopardy with the tempers reaching boiling point in the sell out Camp Farz crowd. Somehow an angry fan in the crowd has been able to get hold of a very lifelike referee effigy and noose which they pass around the entire lower tier.

Meanwhile on the pitch the game descends into chaos as a riled up Hawks team rack up double digit fouls by the 50th minute and keep on going. Despite being on a yellow card and clearly having lost his head, Walter Samuel makes foul after foul on Neymar with the referee seemingly afraid to send him off and cause another melee.

There's non stop pushing and arguing, which breaks up any rhythm in the game at all. With the Colombian assistant manager panicking he throws Koke to try and get the one goal they need to salvage the tie.

And it starts to work...

Neymar works a one - two with Koke and fizzes a shot to the bottom corner which....

ALMUNIA SOMEHOW PUSHES ONTO THE POST

Lewandwoski follows in and...

hits it right at Almunia AGAIN!

The ball is scrambled away by Boli to maybe the only pacy player in the Hawks side Angulo, who dodges a flying tackle from the substitute Kolo Toure and has now got a three on one in his favour... he sends a great ball across the box right into the path of...

SHERINGHAM!!!

The Camp Farz explodes into boos as the Hawk players sh*thouse a celebration in front of the Wanderers bench. This again causes a melee and 10 minute delay. Once again no card for Walter Samuel after he gets a trilogy fight with John Terry.

After this the life is sucked from the team and it instead becomes a dirty, nasty mess of a game. When the referee blows the final whistle the stadium is half empty. The camera pans to the stand but @farzad4daarse is nowhere to be seen.

As Lewandowski, Walker and Alisson begin their long walk home after being denied access to their own team coach a TV camera crew after the game later happens to capture Farzad waiting for Walter Samuel in the stadium car park. It's never confirmed if he's successful.

Final Score: Farzad Wanderers 0 - 2 Sapient Hawks

Sapient Hawks go through 4-2 on aggregate to face @bingobob and Hunskelpers FC in the next round.

View attachment 14127

Phenomenal upset hawk enjoy it mate. The ball is round

 

[Farzad]

@Rex Bezos really enjoying his funny caricature of me as an enraged dictator with an anger management issue. I am really enjoying the write ups, alas i am out of the cup. I will of course be cheering @Sapient Hawk all the way. I think the hot tub photo sank my chances, all that sexiness in one package too much to take

 

[Rex Stone]

@Rex Bezos really enjoying his funny caricature of me as an enraged dictator with an anger management issue. I am really enjoying the write ups, alas i am out of the cup. I will of course be cheering @Sapient Hawk all the way. I think the hot tub photo sank my chances, all that sexiness in one package too much to take

Only having some fun mate, all good! Classy response to Hawk as well lad, good team and well played! Unlucky you didn't go all the way yeah.

 

[GoonerJeeves]

@Rex Bezos really enjoying his funny caricature of me as an enraged dictator with an anger management issue. I am really enjoying the write ups, alas i am out of the cup. I will of course be cheering @Sapient Hawk all the way. I think the hot tub photo sank my chances, all that sexiness in one package too much to take

I'm afraid you have to live with being the Darius of our times. No, I am not going to climb the inscriptions at Behistun to herald your accomplishments.

 

[Farzad]

I'm afraid you have to live with being the Darius of our times. No, I am not going to climb the inscriptions at Behistun to herald your accomplishments.

Fate is cruel to deposed dictators as students of history we are both well aware. Hey you win some you lose some. Trump got indicted, i put @jones to the sword 4-1 there is that. But my chances were destroyed as the lockeroom couldn’t handle the shirtless hot tub pictures of their hairy chested leader. The world is just not ready for a body positive Middle eastern man.

 

[GoonerJeeves]

The world is just not ready for a body positive Middle eastern man.

Do you give the body positive middle aged Western man a better chance? Or will I have to return to my Gaugamela origins here?

 

[Farzad]

Do you give the body positive middle aged Western man a better chance? Or will I have to return to my Gaugamela origins here?

No one wants to see middle aged guys without there clothing, oh well i make up for it with my forgiving disposition and charm.

 

[GoonerJeeves]

No one wants to see middle aged guys without there clothing, oh well i make up for it with my forgiving disposition and charm.

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

-- Shelley
As always the poets have it sorted, or if you prefer the musical take:

 

[Farzad]

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

-- Shelley
As always the poets have it sorted, or if you prefer the musical take:

I tried to be Cyrus the Great and i ended up a Pahlavi, mate, thank god it’s Friday after work and i can have a drink. . Excellent poetry, Goethe learned Farsi to pull inspiration from the masters, this time you teach me. Altjough i read this awhile back the weed made me forget. Ps love Jethro Tull, flute and rock music a better combination than one would think.

 

[GoonerJeeves]

I tried to be Cyrus the Great and i ended up a Pahlavi, mate, thank god it’s Friday after work and i can have a drink. . Excellent poetry, Goethe learned Farsi to pull inspiration from the masters, this time you teach me. Altjough i read this awhile back the weed made me forget. Ps love Jethro Tull, flute and rock music a better combination than one would think.

Can you read the Shahnameh in the original language?

 

[Farzad]

Can you read the Shahnameh in the original language?

Yes if i brush up a little but i can’t understand all of it without a dictionary. It is like reading Shakespeare my dad’s friends can and do recite it quite beautifully to this day at their gatherings. It all rhymes so sometimes they add a background of traditional music to compliment it. Then they start crying sometimes, old guys get sentimental with a few drinks

 

[GoonerJeeves]

Yes if i brush up a little but i can’t understand all of it without a dictionary. It is like reading Shakespeare my dad’s friends can and do recite it quite beautifully to this day at their gatherings. It all rhymes so sometimes they add a background of traditional music to compliment it. Then they start crying sometimes, old guys get sentimental with a few drinks

Sadly, I can only read it in translation, but it is one of the world's big epics. From what I understand there are still storytellers that know it by heart and can recite it without the text.

 

[Farzad]

Sadly, I can only read it in translation, but it is one of the world's big epics. From what I understand there are still storytellers that know it by heart and can recite it without the text.

Oh yeah Persian poetry is the basis of everything that makes our culture, we are a nation of charlatans and poets, but great poets nonetheless. If you can’t recite poetry in Iran you are not considered educated or cultured

 

[Sanchez11]

@farzad4daarse team is sick. I like @Sapient Hawk team too as some proper old school in there.

 

[jones]

Fate is cruel to deposed dictators as students of history we are both well aware. Hey you win some you lose some. Trump got indicted, i put @jones to the sword 4-1 there is that. But my chances were destroyed as the lockeroom couldn’t handle the shirtless hot tub pictures of their hairy chested leader. The world is just not ready for a body positive Middle eastern man.

Nah let's be real, you popped champagne in the jacuzzi after winning a preseason game against me. Shot your load too early when you should've known the Saudi and not the Moroccan would raise his game against you.

No shame losing to a team with 17 away supporters, opposing manager openly beefing his striker, American sim makers etc board was tilted against you from the start bro.

 

[Riou]

Wait, Hawk actually won ffs!

Yep that's it's settled then...

...I am officially the worst player in this tournament then

 

[Sapient Hawk]

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

-- Shelley
As always the poets have it sorted, or if you prefer the musical take:

Eternal words that I'm now, forever forced, to associate with one of the worst movies in the Alienverse.

Covenant.

 

[Sapient Hawk]

Wait, Hawk actually won ffs!

Yep that's it's settled then...

...I am officially the worst player in this tournament then

I'm channeling 2012 Roberto Di Matteo at the moment. Everyone else is simply forestalling the inevitable