Its true, we are no longer the land of giants over here
Culchies are pretty tall, bred on milk and spuds and allowed to roam free, but homobelfastien has evolved into a smaller form to thrive in its natural habitat of chip shops and snooker halls.
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Yeferson Soteldo
- Thread starter OnlyOne
- Start date
- Replies 58
- Views 10,296
Culchies are pretty tall, bred on milk and spuds and allowed to roam free, but homobelfastien has evolved into a smaller form to thrive in its natural habitat of chip shops and snooker halls.
Highbury_2006
Village Idiot
He is insanely short. Its a no from me.
Country: England
Wtf
But he's also insanely fun. Honestly i've never wanted a player more, he's a tricky dribbler, scores bangers, bleach-dyed hair, gets a yellow card every other game, celebrates with the passion of Maradona...like who wouldn't want to watch that?
roz
Fake News Merchant
People more need appreciation for the weird and wonderful, Soteldo is simply following a rich tradition of unconventional South American ballers. Garrincha was 169cm with bandy legs and a drinking problem, and he was one of the best players of all time.
Think about what his height enables him to do, he has a ridiculously low centre of gravity, he can dribble in a way taller players can't, and his height clearly doesn't stop him from outpacing other players.
If he's the best player at Santos I don't see why he can't be the best player for a team in Europe, or even a good player for a big club like Arsenal.
Think about what his height enables him to do, he has a ridiculously low centre of gravity, he can dribble in a way taller players can't, and his height clearly doesn't stop him from outpacing other players.
If he's the best player at Santos I don't see why he can't be the best player for a team in Europe, or even a good player for a big club like Arsenal.
Not only that, he can also do a human nutmeg and just walk through opposition players' legs. It'll be like a revolution in football: There's no need to dribble around players anymore, you just go right through them. Maybe that'll open up a late career in footie for @OnlyOne
Mate, need I remind you the last short South American player you were really big on that had pashun to spare, with a yellow every other game and eventually bleached hair, ended up being Torreira?
daron christie
Active Member
His
Dash Scouting has never failed! Torreira will lift the Champions League! (not by himself obviously, a taller person would presumably have to help him lift it)
Mitch
Blonde Brigade Grand Wizard
Short guys are generally better than lanky strings of piss at this footy game. Sign him up!
1 other person
Active Member
We need a player able to navigate in small spaces. This guy would treat the Burnley lines as a ****ing flight hangar. Get him in!
- Thread starter
- #53
Country: England
Any news? I really wanted him!
Country: Canada
Thoughts? @say yes
Jack_The_Lad
Active Member
Guy I played with in like under-10s or something like that actually did do that in a match. Nearly pissed myself laughing
say yes
forum master baiter
He got likes so it's probably filed away in his "insightful and hilarious" folder.
GDeep™
League is very weak
All the trusted wankers liked his terrible bump.
Country: Norway
Bleach-dyed hair? That is a no then.
Nooooooooo!!
