Our man Denilson

I’ve made no secret of my frustration (I use that word in place of “disdain” or “disgust” or “contempt”) with Denilson. I’ve been saddened by the fact that somehow, in all the world, the Arsenal Football Club managed to find the lone Brazilian who is crap at playing football. That’s just our luck, I suppose, but it seems nigh impossible.

So this morning I was relieved to read a very candid, possibly even overly honest, interview with Denilson in The Guardian where he explains himself.

Let me take you through it, in case you didn’t read it.

“I am a winner.”

That’s good to know. I think a positive self-image is the foundation of achievement.

“I came here to win trophies but I’ve been here for five years and won nothing.”

His honesty in admitting that Arsenal were a great trophy-winning side until he came along is quite refreshing. Many players wouldn’t take the blame like that.

“Until Arsenal stop throwing away silly points in stupid games nothing will change.”

Again, taking the blame for the crap passes, lackluster effort, stupid fouls, and general malaise on the pitch is incredible in this day and age. Mr. Denilson, I salute you. And you know what, you’re right-you are one of the major reasons the club has failed. I wouldn’t want you to take unnecessary criticism, and I would tell you if you were wrong, but you’re not.

“I’ve simply been to see Arsène Wenger and told him how I felt and he’s agreed to let me go.”

This must have been very difficult for the young man-walking into the gaffer’s office and telling him “I’ve been rubbish for years and I don’t deserve to play here anymore” is a very responsible thing to do, but also probably very painful. Perhaps this is the great “character” that Arsène always touts during his pressers.

“A footballer’s career is over very quickly so it is time for me to move on.”

Now, I don’t know if he should be quite this rough with himself, saying that his career is over. It’s true that his disgusting play and idiotic mistakes might indicate a player in serious decline, but he is only 23.

“I made up my mind eight months ago. I was fed up of coming home and feeling down.”

Now this makes sense-he decided eight months ago that he was rubbish and spent the season meeting his own expectations. How odd that a player that sees himself as a winner would do that.

“I need a fresh challenge. It’s great to play beautiful football but sometimes you have to play ugly if you want to succeed.”

Then surely, Mr. Denilson, you should have been the most successful Arsenal player ever, because I can’t imagine more ugly performances than the ones you turned in over the last “eight months.” Again, such wisdom: He was only playing so terribly in order to try and be successful!

“I can’t see myself returning in a Chelsea shirt, or Liverpool or Manchester City – and definitely not Tottenham.”

Now this has to be the most amazing revelation of the interview-Denilson confesses that he’s too crap to play for any of the teams he mentions-even Spuds! What a fresh, striking self-assessment from a professional footballer. I agree with him, by the way-he is wretched and it’s certain that none of the clubs mentioned would tolerate him wearing one of their shirts. Maybe ‘Arry would sign him, however. I mean, after all, the ol’ wheeler-dealer did bring in David Bentley.

So I salute you, young man, for your unflinching honesty and brutal candour. And if your career is well and truly over, you can take comfort in the fact that at least you were good at telling the truth.