It’s the morning of Wednesday May 13th and I have to say that I’m in a bit of a conundrum as to what to write about. It’s City against Palace tonight and although no one wants to jinx it by saying it, if they do fail to win – I fully expect City to win by at least three goals – then a home win against Burnley in five days and its done, simples!
Nagging doubts are never far away
But then my mind begins to wander into some dark places…..
What if we choked against Burnley like we did against Bournemouth?
What if we go into the final match against Palace just needing to win and we draw?
What if Declan if has to play right back again?
And these are the more positive thoughts going round in my head at night.
Memories of 1980 and Valencia
Then of course there is Budapest and PSG waiting on the horizon. Now, I will lay my stall out for all to see here. Whilst obviously I want both, I care more about winning the Premier League than the Champions League and the thought of going into that Final having blown the League absolutely terrifies me. I am old enough to remember losing the Cup Final (when it really was equivalent to winning the League) and then failing to turn up in Brussels for the Cup Winners Cup Final the following Wednesday. We were awful, lucky to score nil! They weren’t a lot better, but the failure of Liam and Rixy from the spot was enough to see us empty handed for the season.
Paris, Copenhagen, Paris, Baku………Budapest?
The thing about losing streaks is that they must come to end…….one day…..surely! Now I thought that too about the recent League Cup Final where we have an equally abysmal record (LLWLWLLLL) and we know how that turned out! In some ways I’m using the Final as a distraction from the League, something the players don’t have the luxury of. Not in terms of “at least if we don’t win the League, we’ve still got…..”, but as a simple distraction from our domestic situation. Strange, but true.
It’s better to have loved and lost??
Is it? I’m really not sure about that phrase – never have been! To me to have something and lose it feels far, far worse. It’s why I can never relax unless we are four goals clear with one minute of additional time to play. I was probably the only person watching the 2015 Cup Final that was still on tenterhooks right up until Giroud got our fourth. We’ve been 3-0 up with 10 minutes left and I’ve had to be told to shut up and relax more times than I care to remember.
Wake me up on May 31st
If I had one genuine wish right now, it wouldn’t be world peace or the end to global child poverty. It would simply be to go to sleep tonight and wake up at 0800 on Sunday 31st May with both trophies won. I wouldn’t care if I’d missed the goals, the glory or the instant gloating, I would just be one happy chappy……and I’d still have time to make it to the Cock on Highbury Corner for the parade.
So, there you have it, I did say that I was in a conundrum, and this is what I’ve come up with. Probably inane ramblings to a lot of you, but it is a genuine snapshot inside the mind of a very discombobulated Gooner.