Let's all laugh at Man Utd: Istanbald

[2Smokeyy]

Translation?

Heated debate as the main speaker discovered one of Utd players (rumoured to be Sancho or Bruno) prior to the FA Cup final had a light tug thinking about his mother then Saka got dragged into it as a picture was doing the rounds. Not long after she was pictured with a man that had ashy legs on a yacht in Dubai.

I hope that helps

 

[CaseUteinberger]

Heated debate as the main speaker discovered one of Utd players (rumoured to be Sancho or Bruno) prior to the FA Cup final had a light tug thinking about his mother then Saka got dragged into it as a picture was doing the rounds. Not long after she was pictured with a man that had ashy legs on a yacht in Dubai.

I hope that helps

Thanks mate! Not that the debate made much sense, but regardless: Stay away from drugs, kids!

 

[Farzad Stoned]

When did you decide to become a parody account? Trying to become "Trusted"?

Bro no one trusts me despite me being the most honest guy i know. I am the most censored and banned guy on here next to @GDeep™; honesty is Kryptonite to the modern hipster snowflake

 

[Farzad Stoned]

Arteta won an FA Cup 6 months into the job with no real transfer window taking over a team that was in 8th place. ETH has just failed to win an FA Cup today 10 months into the job having spent more than 200m. He'd also likely be trophyless in year 1 if Pope had kept his head and Newcastle's midfielders weren't struggling with injuries. He took a team that finished 11 points and a place behind Arsenal to finishing 9 points and a place behind Arsenal. They should surely already be building his statue as we speak.

We have enacted a sex/loser cult cult around our manager so who are we to throw stones? Boy you guys rejoice for shame and 2nd place unlike anything i have ever seen. 2nd place in football is only worse than 2nd place in poker who wins the prize of usually losing the most money. Arteta has managed one good 6 months in league in 3.5 years

I compliment ETH who has won multiple league titles and got to CL after less than one year; then the Sexuals derail the United thread to invoke their Spanish idol. Mods let the record show i made no comment on Arteta but like Pacino in Godfather Part 3 “They keep pulling me back in!”

 

[Batman]

We have enacted a sex/loser cult cult around our manager so who are we to throw stones? Boy you guys rejoice for shame and 2nd place unlike anything i have ever seen. 2nd place in football is only worse than 2nd place in poker who wins the prize of usually losing the most money. Arteta has managed one good 6 months in league in 3.5 years

I compliment ETH who has won multiple league titles and got to CL after less than one year; then the Sexuals derail the United thread to invoke their Spanish idol. Mods let the record show i made no comment on Arteta but like Pacino in Godfather Part 3 “They keep pulling me back in!”

Ah yes because winning the league with Ajax is famously difficult. Your problem is that you try way too hard. You're like Manberg with Xhaka at this stage. It's gotten beyond being believable.

 

[Farzad Stoned]

Ah yes because winning the league with Ajax is famously difficult. Your problem is that you try way too hard. You're like Manberg with Xhaka at this stage. It's gotten beyond being believable.

He is not a good manager, too many bad mistakes too many years into the job. Let him win something then lionize the man to me he hasn’t achieved much for what has been invested in him

 

[CaseUteinberger]

Bro no one trusts me despite me being the most honest guy i know. I am the most censored and banned guy on here next to @GDeep™; honesty is Kryptonite to the modern hipster snowflake

The only thing I feel you have been banned from is your own senses. Time to pull yourself together! No drugs or fatty foods for you over the next 6 weeks! Hit those weights!!!

 

[Farzad Stoned]

The only thing I feel you have been banned from is your own senses. Time to pull yourself together! No drugs or fatty foods for you over the next 6 weeks! Hit those weights!!!

I can’t i need at least 3 grams of good weed a day to sedate from the fact that a tosser has hijacked my beloved club

 

[Sapient Hawk]

sTaRbOY

Oh well...as long as he's better than Henry

 

[Sapient Hawk]

Translation?

The only word other than Saka that I could make out was "Crumboo!!". Going out on a limb, I'm going to assume it's similar to the English word "Crumble".

 

[BigPoppaPump]

Casemiro, Rashford and Sancho…

All absolutely sh*te.

Can’t believe @Rex Bezos and @Trilly were twerking for Rashford all season. He has 2 months of good form and they start calling him a ‘national treasure’ lmao.

 

[Hunta]

Can’t believe how Sancho has turned out there to be honest. It wasn’t as though he only produced numbers with Haaland at Dortmund either, he was scoring/assisting before he arrived.

His fall from grace is mad, he doesn’t even get a mention when England squads are named. This is a guy everybody was crying over 2 years ago because Saka was starting ahead of him.

 

[ArsenesCoatMaker]

Can’t believe how Sancho has turned out there to be honest. It wasn’t as though he only produced numbers with Haaland at Dortmund either, he was scoring/assisting before he arrived.

His fall from grace is mad, he doesn’t even get a mention when England squads are named. This is a guy everybody was crying over 2 years ago because Saka was starting ahead of him.

3 things

1 Bundisliga Tax
2 It's rumoured he doesn't like football.
3 He's set for life after United contract

 

[Haphazard]

Starboy catching strays

Heads are gone

Truly the biggest ***** of a fanbase , can dish it out but can't take even a little back.

The fact its all London accents is killing me too

 

[Tir Na Nog]

I said it before I believe Sancho just doesn't have a great deal of explosiveness or real top acceleration to be a top winger in the prem, that said he doesn't have all the technical attributes for a more central role but it'd require a lot o work to mold him and I dunno if United have the patience for that.

Even with all his abilities he basically needs to be one on one with an FB and rely purely on his skill to get the better of them, it's rare he comes up against a FB that he has a real physical advantage against, or at least that's just what I've seen.

 

[avenellroad]

Translation?

Listening to that Manc speak was ****ing awful for my ears. Worst accent in the UK bar none.

 

[OnlyOne]

I said it before I believe Sancho just doesn't have a great deal of explosiveness or real top acceleration to be a top winger in the prem, that said he doesn't have all the technical attributes for a more central role but it'd require a lot o work to mold him and I dunno if United have the patience for that.

Even with all his abilities he basically needs to be one on one with an FB and rely purely on his skill to get the better of them, it's rare he comes up against a FB that he has a real physical advantage against, or at least that's just what I've seen.

He plays like he's Fabio Viera's younger brother.

 

[CaseUteinberger]

Listening to that Manc speak was ****ing awful for my ears. Worst accent in the UK bar none.

Could not even make out accents to be honest.

 

[SuperMikel]

horrible in possession. When United got the ball unless a quick forward release occurred, they didnt know what to do. Every time City snuffed out the counter and United consolidated in possession, they would aimlessly pass it around before knocking in a hope pray cross. They have no structure to their attack and are packed with counterattack merchants - Bruno, Casemiro, Rashford are counter attack specialists.

Thier ability to recycle and retain possession is horrible. I still remember them beating us at Old Trafford 3-1, we had 61% of the ball and the 2nd and 3rd goals scored were direct counter attacks & we failed to handle the transition - that's their element.

Amazing people think ETH is a genuis when his teams are so limited and simple. 'Ven ve get tha ball, kick and marcus vill chase'.

And there is Arteta criticism in this thread when our structured attacks have levels and depth. Where as United strucuted attacks dont exist, they are purely counterattack, kick and chase

 

[SA Gunner]

horrible in possession. When United got the ball unless a quick forward release occurred, they didnt know what to do. Every time City snuffed out the counter and United consolidated in possession, they would aimlessly pass it around before knocking in a hope pray cross. They have no structure to their attack and are packed with counterattack merchants - Bruno, Casemiro, Rashford are counter attack specialists.

Thier ability to recycle and retain possession is horrible. I still remember them beating us at Old Trafford 3-1, we had 61% of the ball and the 2nd and 3rd goals scored were direct counter attacks & we failed to handle the transition - that's their element.

Amazing people think ETH is a genuis when his teams are so limited and simple. 'Ven ve get tha ball, kick and marcus vill chase'.

And there is Arteta criticism in this thread when our structured attacks have levels and depth. Where as United strucuted attacks dont exist, they are purely counterattack, kick and chase

Granted, United play haram ball at the moment, but you have to also give time and space to Ten Hag to get his philosophy started I'd say.

We had the same type of play under Mikel in his first season with us, and until he could bring in his own players. Mikel's ball was probably more structured and better defensively, but not far away from this football Ten Hag plays now.

Ten Hag is on my fraud watchlist at the moment yes, but Im keen to see how he evolves from this point.

It is a worry for United though, that Ten Hag has already spent so much money, for this level of football.